Mar 28 2009
Self Help, or Self Improvement?
Is there a difference? There certainly is and it is big. I was in a Network Marketing Company and I heard a speaker at a conference say “This is a self-improvement program with a high compensation outcome!” It was my first exposure to this way of thinking. Honestly, I was immediately attracted to the approach due to my self-help background and profession, social work.
Self-Help is what one would identify with programs like Alcoholics/Narcotics Anonymous, Double Trouble in Recovery, or Celebrate Recovery to name a few. Self-Help books and self-help programs begin with the premise that there is a dysfunction or challenge with the individual that needs to be fixed. It is an approach from the point of weakness.
Self-Improvement is the approach that is often found in the Business section of your bookstore. It often focuses on the attainment of money. Programs like “The Secret” have catapulted into the homes of millions for the “hope” of one day being “Bill Gates” rich! However, it comes from the position of “Strength”. What is right about the individual and how to make you a better person.
As you can see there are phenomenal benefits of both as well as challenges. So what is the best approach? My opinion is to take the best and leave the rest! Programs like AA work, however, they have created a culture of us vs them. A ridiculous premise that alcoholics are not like the rest of the world is the mantra. They base this idea on a verse of text. “We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed.” ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, (The Big Book) p. 30.
It is a dangerous belief system and is taken completely out of context they assume they are different from others. Yes when it comes to the consumption of alcohol or other mind-altering substances we are different. Beyond that, Human Beings are Human Beings. It has been noted that 85% of adults report that they are from dysfunctional families! Yet, the Alcoholic/Addict believes that trait is reserved for them!
Members of AA are often extremely opinionated and protective of their way of life. In fact, I could write a book of “Comments” from all of the negative opinions on my Blogs or any of my friends Blogs when they do not agree with us. The idea of keeping an open mind is reserved for the message from the latest guru speaker on the circuit.
AA works and it works well! However, many people needlessly suffer because they refuse to get out of their own way. They have branded the “Victim” mentality deep within their minds. They focus on fixing what is wrong rather than focus on what is right. The key to happiness is focusing on the positive. Having a purpose, retaining hope and enjoying the Spiritual path we call Life.
The self-improvement movement has serious flaws as well. Capitalization on the state of the economy as well as seize the “greed” emotion of people is prevalent. They say that “Sex” sells, well so does money. More precisely “Getting Rich” building wealth is the goal. It is unfortunate that the message is distorted due to the guidance of the seemingly ill intentioned self-proclaimed experts.
The self-improvement approach works, and it works well. It simply sends the wrong message that life is all about your bank account. There are many self-improvement books, audio sets and professionals that do not subscribe to this marketing approach to their field. The challenge is the message is overlooked due to the prevalence of the wealth accumulation mindset.
Tony Robbins is often tossed into the ring as a “motivational guru”. However, study his teachings and you will uncover methods of empowerment that will baffle you. “Awaken the Giant Within” a weekly listen for me, focuses on Neuro Associative Conditioning, learning how to think and change. The late Earl Nightingale believed to be the “Grand Daddy” of the self-improvement movement carries the message of hope and strength to this day on Audio’s like “The Strangest Secret” and my favorite, “Lead the Field”.
Combine the two approaches and you have the prescription to overcome addiction and live a healthy, happy, prosperous, clean and sober life, which is my definition of “Wealth”. Drug and alcohol recovery methods must move into the 21st century.
Daniel J. Callahan LMSW
The Last Resort Panama, drug and alcohol rehab
The problem with this article and most like it is that in the end most so-called self help experts always have something to plug. When that happens you lose the true meaning of the article. I did however agree with your overall philosophy of self help and what it’s actually meant for. The AA approach of taking away the individual and making them feel like they are different is always a problem for most people that actually have a problem. It would be easier for people to admit that they have a problem if they don’t have to think that their in a class a little less than the next guy. Everyone needs help at some point in their life, this could happen for a number reasons. Self help to me always meant that there’s nobody that can help you like yourself. There will always be trying times, part of the downside of life, but that doesn’t mean give up. That means you have to want to pick yourself up and start living with whats available to you at that time. Just need to keep reminding yourself that this is just a down point in your life. Most people have an inherent ability to push their way through tough times in their life, they just need to be reminded and not automatically put into some treatment or drug induced prescribed mood altering pill. We as a nation have forgot how to live without the constant coddling that other people feel that we need. There’s a montra that I use, which feels like on a daily basis at this point. “I have abilities that others don’t have and need.”